Flying Solo

So I've come to a point (at least at this hour of the day) that I can distance myself from the shock and pain of not being with the guy I expected to always be "the one". When I say distance, I mean that I wonder why everyone is so relationship-crazed anyway.

As I listen to advice from people telling me the 'benefits' of single life, I kinda think that it's not a bad trade-off to be single, shaping who I want to be, not answering to anyone, having the whole bed to myself most of the time and knowing that my heart will never be crushed again, nor will I ever crush anyone elses heart. That's totally not the worse thing...it actually kinda rules. Although, I must admit, the togetherness part was the ill shit, it was awesome. But the pain of breaking up sucks arse. I've kinda had it with the whole pain thing anyway.

I'm thinking, allright, blondie and i are done. So hows about I make this the last time anyone is ever done with me? Friends are good and sometimes even friends have to say goodbye to each other, but when "the one" is done with you, that is brutal to the extreme. I've had enough trauma for a lifetime. It's actually lowered my pain tolerance.

The bad thing is I wish I could chat with blondie about this over IM for hours...that is my poison. The way he thinks is so inspiring to me, I feel like I am being starved of something very important intellectually and spiritually without him.

On and fucking on this emotional merry-go-round goes...sigh...

Songs currently playing on my playa: The Late Greats -- Wilco
-------------------------------------: Glisten -- Isis
-------------------------------------: The New Hangout Condition -- Karate
-------------------------------------: The Voices -- Nada Surf
-------------------------------------: Taste The Poison -- Story of The Year
-------------------------------------: Wrong Way -- Sublime