11/02/2005

Unsent Emails

Oh gosh...I still have it so bad for blondie that I have a hard time letting go. I just want to talk to him and convince him to take me back...pathetic, I know. I dont think I live for him, I just never expected to live without him. Anyway, I compose so many emails to him, as I did while we were together, but before they would be conversations between us. Now they are just useless words from me to his inbox. He seldom replies to any emails that deal with our (non-) relationship anymore, so I have stopped sending them for the most part.

Today has started out really bad for me in terms of missing him. I composed yet another email, but know I can't send it to him. But I'm going to post it, and perhaps some future sad emails here, just to get them out and off my chest. I wanna be over this...not over him, but over the hurt...maybe this will help, maybe not.

Anyway, here's todays unsent email: "fuck dude...how do you do this without cracking? i need true friends right now, would like to keep you as one, and would like to talk more with you about us in the future. but in the meantime, i'm...i dunno. this is almost unbearable sometimes. i miss you.

as i have been writing this to you, the first snow of the season fell...for only a minute. huge, fluffy, feathery snowflakes...so beautiful."

I'm so nutz now, my email started out with "fuck" and ended with "beautiful"...hahaha, this woulda been a mistake to send. i hate what this breakup shiz is doing to me...UNCLE already!!


Songs currently playing: Such Great Heights (John Tejada Remix) -- The Postal Service
-----------------------: Styrofoam Plates -- Death Cab for Cutie
-----------------------: Know Your Onion! -- The Shins

2 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Unkles and ants...

I am reading your blog, entry by entry, and am trying not making any comments. I find myself reading it like a story, awaiting its conclusion; its denouement. Just wanted to take this moment to say -> I understand :)

1/04/2006 05:53:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

comment...
you know what i think of your words...i do know that you understand, and i'm grateful for the shared emotion. although, i wouldn't wish these feelings on my enemies...but alas, here they are.

1/04/2006 06:18:00 PM  

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