I want something I can't have

I've always been pretty lucky. I usually get almost everything I ever want...which either means I am simple and don't want a lot, or hella lucky. I think its a little of both. Always lived pretty well.

Guys...easy. Gigs...same. Cool places to live...yes. Excellent friends...cake.

So that's awesome in a way...but i kinda think that now this whole breakup thing is harder than it should be cuz i am used to having everything i want. So, damn...i guess all i can do now is to just stop wanting to get back with blondie.

And as i'm typing this, i know i'm not quite ready to step over that huge chasm...but thats just gotta be where i go. I mean, i've kinda done that already, cuz I'm still happy w/o him, I have fun, have a life, enjoy a little pr0n (j/k...kinda)...but i just dont wanna ever forget him. But OTOH, i don't wanna write in this blog for much longer either...wanna start a new personal blog (and actually keep up with work blogs/sites) and just be done with the pain. I'm fucking sick of this breakup drama already.

(still in love...fucking sobbing again...gawd)

So my rhapsody is always on shuffle...how does it know to play sad songs when i'm missing blondie? Currently playing:

All I Need - Air
Happiness - Elliott Smith
Another Innocent Girl -- The Alkaline Trio
I Keep a Diary -- Braid
A Movie Script Ending -- Death Cab for Cutie (oh man, tear my heart out)