Post Breakup Makeover
Not sure why this came on tonite, but I'm kinda wanting a makeover...want to cut and color my hair. Thinking dark brown/black for the hair, and maybe like 3" shorter...just up above my armpits/below my shoulders, whatever.
Already lost so much weight that I look like a toothpick with boobs...kinda feeling like making a full transformation.
My job is different too. Still freelancing, but waaay different than before. Not as much client stuff.
And lastly, I'm back in this country w/o the guy i still love with all my heart, the one i thought i would always be with. I'm without him and alone.
But I still have so many memories of our time together, and he is making it clear that we really are 'just friends' now, so I kinda want to put away my old persona from our time together...blondie used to tell me i was 'just one white belt away from dressing like an underage mall slag'...hahaha. Time for that look to go. Just wanna try something new. Everything in my life now really is new, so I might as well update my look too. In fact, he still has (had??) a lot of my clothes anyway, so I have to buy a whole new wardrobe either way.
He's finally online tonite, but I have him blocked again. Not that anything went wrong, but as everyone has been telling me, we both need space to deal with this breakup. As of this hour, I'm feeling ready to give him that space. I don't want to stay in a rut with this. I have no idea if there really is a chance of us getting back together like he said, but either way, we both will move on, whether we want to or not...it's inevitable. Hopefully we will find our way back to each other in the future...oh, you have no idea how I hope that happens...but in the meantime, we both gotta do our own thing. Thinking maybe a makeover might make the process a little easier for me.
songs playing on my rhapsody:
Ship in the attic: The Red Thread
Zero: Smashing Pumpkins
L.A.: Elliott Smith
Venus: Air
Asethenia: Blink 182
Already lost so much weight that I look like a toothpick with boobs...kinda feeling like making a full transformation.
My job is different too. Still freelancing, but waaay different than before. Not as much client stuff.
And lastly, I'm back in this country w/o the guy i still love with all my heart, the one i thought i would always be with. I'm without him and alone.
But I still have so many memories of our time together, and he is making it clear that we really are 'just friends' now, so I kinda want to put away my old persona from our time together...blondie used to tell me i was 'just one white belt away from dressing like an underage mall slag'...hahaha. Time for that look to go. Just wanna try something new. Everything in my life now really is new, so I might as well update my look too. In fact, he still has (had??) a lot of my clothes anyway, so I have to buy a whole new wardrobe either way.
He's finally online tonite, but I have him blocked again. Not that anything went wrong, but as everyone has been telling me, we both need space to deal with this breakup. As of this hour, I'm feeling ready to give him that space. I don't want to stay in a rut with this. I have no idea if there really is a chance of us getting back together like he said, but either way, we both will move on, whether we want to or not...it's inevitable. Hopefully we will find our way back to each other in the future...oh, you have no idea how I hope that happens...but in the meantime, we both gotta do our own thing. Thinking maybe a makeover might make the process a little easier for me.
songs playing on my rhapsody:
Ship in the attic: The Red Thread
Zero: Smashing Pumpkins
L.A.: Elliott Smith
Venus: Air
Asethenia: Blink 182
posted by Jenn at 7:47:00 PM
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