Hello My Name Is...

Hello my name is Jenn and I am a blondie-aholic.

Holy shit. I know this is true.

I am totally kidding myself to think that being the only one to initiate conversations between blondie and I is a good thing. I am totally deficient in my thinking to imagine that this is keeping our friendship alive.

I don't want to go into how stupid it was for me to think that was ok.

And honestly, the only reason I am coming to a more lucid realization of this now is because next week I won't be able to chat with him at all, and I am experiencing anticipatory withdrawals (i.e. slight panic)....seriously. I need a fucking pill (well not a 'fucking pill', cuz i can do that quite well w/o pills, thank you, although i don't wanna ever do that with anyone other than blondie for the rest of my life, blondie was the ill shit...but a chill Pill with a capital P).

I gotta figure out a way to live and take in all that life offers without always wanting to share every cool thing that I experience with him. I have to learn to just work in the evenings without chatting with him. I need to experience, for more than a few hours, contentment and constructive work/ideas without bouncing my ideas off him, or listening to his. Like I said before, intellectually, spiritually and creatively, I gained so much from him, and shared so much with him...we are both non-mainstream, but yet know how to make clients and employers blissfully happy with our work. Plus, I was blissfully happy with blondie. So, this is beyond heartbreaking for me, and is more like learning to live without hands after having them your whole life.

Arrrgh!! Help!(?)

Tunes playing now: Sine Wave -- Mogwai
-------------------: Bodies -- Karate
-------------------: Kelly Watch The Stars -- Air