12/22/2005

Project XXI

Ok, the time has come to actually start dealing with this breakup.

I've been so broken hearted over losing the love of my life that weeks ago, my offline and online friends told me that maybe it would be a good idea not to talk to blondie for a while...while I could see their point, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Finally, yesterday a reader made that same comment, and for some reason this time, it just clicked...I dunno...I guess I just realized that I am fucking exhausted from this breakup madness and that its time to do something about it already.

So here is what I'm doing:

I'm starting what I am calling Project XXI. This is a 21 day break-the-habit-no-contact project. When a reader, Nic, commented about it, what turned me on to it was the fact that maybe blondie would start to miss me after not hearing from me for a while, and perhaps the whole friendship thing would just work out better. But last nite my book He's Just Not That Into Youarrived, and after reading it I decided that this 21 day project should be more focused as a way for me to just say goodbye completely...if he comes running back to me for friendship then cool...but either way, I'm thinking it's time for me to just say goodbye and be able to deal.

So here are the rules, and they are expanded a bit to include the circumstances of those who are starting this project with me:
1: No contact with the ex for a minimum of 21 days. That makes it Jan 12 starting today
2: No drunk dialing/texts, email or IM
3: No x-mas day dialing/texts, email or IM
4: No new years eve dialing/texts, email or IM
5: If god forbid, (s)he finds or already reads your blog, no communication with her/him via comments or posts
6: No IM unblocking until Jan 12 (or feel free to delete from IM, email, phones, etc)
7: No 3rd party contact (your circumstance may require 3rd party contact...but prolly not...be honest)
8: No desperation dialing/texts, emails or IMs
9: Blog and comment here as necessary to keep from unblocking or emailing her/him
10: No stalking -- online, offline, stalking thru friends, etc. (Nic sez you'll defeat the whole purpose if you know what (s)he's up to or if (s)he know's what you're up to)
11: Get the fuck out from in front of the computer for at least a couple of hours everyday to do something good for you (i.e. shop, hit the gym, go get yerself some starbucks or even better go to an independent coffee shop and enjoy the cute servers, get some art...go to a gallery or see a live band or read some prose, go dating and 'hit that' (hehe)...whatever is fun and good for you)

I know some of the rules are hella difficult (i.e. for me, the no contact on the holidays is going to fuck me up, expect me to be stupid on these days), so PLEASE leave a comment if you're feeling weak at any time during this project and I'll do my best to give you the support you need...I'll definitely blog every wiggy instance I have during this project. And if you're doing really well with Project XXI (hereafter referred to as PXXI - pronounced "pixie"), then let us know that too...we all could use the encouragement to see that it can actually be done. Also feel free to YIM me instead of him/her...i will leave it on a lot during PXXI.

Ok, ready? LETS DO THIS!!!

12 Comments:

Blogger PinkBunny said...

Wow I can't believe you're awake before I'm asleep, Jenn! My schedule's so messed up!

So... PXXI it is!

More to comment when I wake up. =p

Good luck!

12/22/2005 07:12:00 AM  
Blogger Nic said...

GOOD GIRL!!!

Look how strong you sound?

I think you have a good base on this - you're right, it's a 21 day minimum and I didn't mention this before for fear of turning you off it, but usually by the time you're down with it you don't WANT to contact the ex... weird huh. I know I know hard to fathom, BUT you'll see. It makes you stronger

GET IT GIRL!

12/22/2005 07:40:00 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

yeah pb...woke up too gd early for the past 2 days...just missing that beautiful little shit and i can't sleep...but i'm totally glad to be starting PXXI with you.

and nic...yeah, feeling strong today, but have this annoying sadness too...i'll just be glad when i can get over the sadness part...i'm thinking this is the only way to get my life back already...thx again.

12/22/2005 09:22:00 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

ok mike...it's just day 1...not blown yet...keep on it...

and right on about louisville mojo!! make sure to email some of those hotties ;)

have fun on your date tonite!

12/22/2005 11:59:00 AM  
Blogger Nic said...

stop talking about the ex.

NOW

12/22/2005 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

mike,

ok...so since this office girl knows you so well, i'd encourage you to ask about her now...even just to be friendly...but try not do the comparisons to your past relationship with your ex...just get your mind filled with other experiences.

(it's so easy to give advice to others...hahaha...but i am doing ok today)

12/22/2005 02:33:00 PM  
Blogger PinkBunny said...

Wow, Mike! You really hit me with this one: "resisted the urge to check my blog hit reports to see if she had visited". I would've let myself get away with this. Boo me!

Now I know that's also taboo.

12/22/2005 08:10:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

k i mentioned your project to my neighbour and he thinks you should actually do forty days rather than twenty one. because while it's true that it takes 21 days to break a habit it takes 40 days to solidify a new pattern and be certain that you are rid of that old habit.

day 21 you've made a hole but you haven't filled it with anything yet... day 40 it's full and the pattern is both broken AND replaced.

1/07/2006 04:08:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

sass...so i'm wanting to do it longer...i totally think i will.

1/07/2006 04:26:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

seems wise to me... and if you decide BEFORE 21 is up it's sorta easy to continue (i'm up to day 8 in my reading)

1/07/2006 04:39:00 PM  
Blogger ususera said...

ey m! i was introduced to your blog by a friend. i'm on the 10th month of recovery. i did a 60-day thingy but i've been guilty of #10 or 11 - stalking online. so i think this is why i didn't work. I haven't had contact for 7 mos but been viewing his page once in a while

11/20/2007 08:44:00 PM  
Blogger Ang Kalawang Koboy said...

I'm doing this, too. Wish me luck. :)

2/20/2008 07:56:00 PM  

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