1/28/2006

Not Alone

so i'm heading to maine in a couple of weeks. i'm excited as shit...but i'm also kinda feeling like a scared kitten. mostly cuz i just am not an east coast girl. and the last time i seriously considered moving to the east coast, i worked out a deal for blondie to also get a job with the company who wanted to hire me. after an apprentice-style interview, they wanted me bad, and were warming up to blondie...but we both decided that we just didn't dig the east coast and the stuffiness there (as compared to chicago, or the west). so we declined the jobs and stayed put until this gig in ontario came up. then he moved up there...and finally me and all our shit got hauled up there.

now...well, blondie and i are barely speaking. i got a huge new gig. they are training me in their main office. which is only a matter of plane fare since all of my shit is in canada still. anyway, i gotta find somewhere to live, people to hang out with. and i'm quite sure the scene in maine is gonna be nonexistent. so that will suck huge balls. i'll have to go to boston if i wanna hang with anyone...and since i don't currently have a car (the el train was my car), that's gonna happen like NEVER. sigh....

so trev's coming with me to maine to get set up. one thing i hear from a lot of people is that i can get my smoke on there...hahaha. buncha tokin hippies out there...lol. but i don't smoke...goddammit!! and that sounds like the only fun i would have there...oh well.

well...maybe there is where i'll finally grow up. i need to fucking quit playing these emo games. this is really the first time i've played any stupid breakup drama like to this extent...and lemme tell you, it's fucking going to be the last time. i've come to realize that no guy who won't love me back is worth this much pain...even if he does want to keep in touch and stay friends. i'm actually all about staying friends with blondie, cuz he's the smartest person i know, and i grow weary of being with people who all think the same...and that kid comes up with some fucked up brilliant shit, so i gotta stay friends with him, if possible. but he rejected me so bad and i hate him for that...yeah i said i hate him for that. i do. he let something precious go. this world sometimes hands us bad circumstances, but if someone who is not like the rest, and is so like you and is sweet loves you and you diss that, especially out of pride, then you fucking deserve whatever leftovers you get. and as i've said before, i wish him the best.

the melodic noise coming from my playa this saturday afternoon:
It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door -- Underoath
Altered Course -- Isis
Troublemaker -- Nada Surf
Sweet Troubled Soul -- Stellastarr

1 Comments:

Blogger Jenn said...

i will sweetie. you can call me anytime.

why are you going offline?

Miss you too!!!

1/29/2006 03:38:00 PM  

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