Stop the Madness!!

if i am truly over it...why am i feeling dissed over apparently either being blocked or him not logging onto his IM like he has done for years after work?

i guess it's a possibility that he has been busy for the last two nites and just has not been on the computer...but the odds of that are LOW!

aaarrrgh!!!

so whatever. oh my gosh, whatever!

........................

so i guess one thing that is kinda exciting me is that i'm in a time of flux. i have many decisions to make. and i need to not blow any of them. as of about an hour ago, i may be able to hit up the president of the company who is sending me to maine to send me instead to my dream spot (even more than chicago, i think...i dunno) seattle. they have been looking to expand that office, and i would be willing to work in an office if they would send me there.

so many decisions. so few real answers. my life is not mine right now...i'm so at the whim of prospective employers and others. i have to somehow keep an after-hours indie $$$$$$-maker, but if i'm getting job offers, i really gotta at least consider them at this point. i'm not gonna get new furniture into a new apartment by begging blondie to bring my shit out of canada the way he took it in, that's for goddam sure.

gawd i'm sick of wanting to fucking HURL everytime i think of this shite...