Resolutions & Priorities: PXXI Day 1 -Take 2
so my new year's resolutions got a pretty shite start this year. i am SO WEAK!
...but i think they were good resolutions...important for a lot of reasons. i wanna be with that kid again so much...but i know that there are more important things than that right now.
like, what if we did get back together again and i'm this whiney-ass bitch still? i was NEVER like that before this. he would totally not dig that. we wouldn't last.
what if i didn't get my focus back with my work? then i'd be fucked...and that never makes for a good relationship either.
what if i dont get my health together, eat a little and take better care of myself? well anorexic-looking chicks are not really his thing either...yuck!
what if i kept being a pussy and afraid of everything? well, that's kinda what got us in this mess to begin with...so that's definitely gotta go.
thing is, i realize my priority should be to get my focus back. i gotta be what i was before and while i was with him. i REALLY hope we get back togther again sometime, cuz i can't seem to make myself let him go. but i also realize that we may not get back together again. so i gotta just make that crazy mind-shift to ME, and away from him somehow. seems like that should be the easiest thing in the world but it's been so hard. gotta do it tho...
aarrrgh...people get back together after time apart...sometimes. gawd. i just want to control everything with this...like if i'm a good girl (i.e. focused, brave and honest), i'll get blondie back. but dammit, i know it doesn't always work that way...goddam. WHY was he so perfect for me?? i really must chill. the holidays totally fucked me up. they're over now. i'm starting pxxi again today. day 1. now till jan 26. no meltdowns this time.
...but i think they were good resolutions...important for a lot of reasons. i wanna be with that kid again so much...but i know that there are more important things than that right now.
like, what if we did get back together again and i'm this whiney-ass bitch still? i was NEVER like that before this. he would totally not dig that. we wouldn't last.
what if i didn't get my focus back with my work? then i'd be fucked...and that never makes for a good relationship either.
what if i dont get my health together, eat a little and take better care of myself? well anorexic-looking chicks are not really his thing either...yuck!
what if i kept being a pussy and afraid of everything? well, that's kinda what got us in this mess to begin with...so that's definitely gotta go.
thing is, i realize my priority should be to get my focus back. i gotta be what i was before and while i was with him. i REALLY hope we get back togther again sometime, cuz i can't seem to make myself let him go. but i also realize that we may not get back together again. so i gotta just make that crazy mind-shift to ME, and away from him somehow. seems like that should be the easiest thing in the world but it's been so hard. gotta do it tho...
aarrrgh...people get back together after time apart...sometimes. gawd. i just want to control everything with this...like if i'm a good girl (i.e. focused, brave and honest), i'll get blondie back. but dammit, i know it doesn't always work that way...goddam. WHY was he so perfect for me?? i really must chill. the holidays totally fucked me up. they're over now. i'm starting pxxi again today. day 1. now till jan 26. no meltdowns this time.
posted by Jenn at 2:01:00 PM
4 Comments:
yeah thanks discom and robert...i'm gonna do this shit.
excuse me while i wiggle out of these little girl panties and put my BIG GIRL PANTIES on...
(c;
Go Jenn! Go big girl panties!
I'm in a girl power mood... so... girl power!
pb...you're totally a girl power super hero...like seriously. i can see your little pink bunny with a cape blowing in the wind...so girl-power-adorable and strong.
i think your pink bunny with the cape should be our new girl power icon...love it!
Go PB!!!
Aww Jenn.. that's such a cute image! I'm sooo going to model it in!
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