Starting PXXI Day 14: Relationship Rehab

so i watched relationship rehab last nite...a lil bit lame IMO. i think they could have made it more real. anyway, it was about a girl with an asshole exbf who basically sent her self-esteem go down the toilet. and when he put her 'on hold' she got herself together and started living her life. that's all good, i'm proud of her. i know that would be tough. there are prolly a lot more of these kinds of breakups than those like mine which was circumstantial. we had a great relationship, but circumstances ended things, and we're kinda trying to stay friends. but of course, i'm internalizing everything i see about breakups.

i had a lil rough patch last nite when it was late and i saw he was still online. i made it thru tho. i couldn't have done that before pxxi. i would have been powerless to keep from saying hi to him. i do feel so much stronger and in control of things now. i really don't think every converstation with him now will be so full of emotion and drama anymore. and i want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone for helping me to get this far with pxxi. only one more week to go. and i'm quite sure i can do it.

i'm not thinking that i will immediately IM him the second my time with pxxi is up...i might keep it on for a few more hours/days/weeks...i dunno. its gonna be tricky either way, but i'm sure that without this time away from each other, we would have prolly gone further down. my whole point is that i would like to get back together with him at some point, and in the meantime be friends...not be the desperate bitch i had been since the breakup, but to be what i used to be. what attracted him to me in the first place. just a strong, independent girl who was sweet on him...not desperate for him...but who knows.

onward with day 14 of pxxi...how are you all doing?


Grace Cathedral Hill -- The Decemberists
Creep -- Radiohead