More Getting Out of The Dumps
Fortune Cookie Say:
"You will be showered with good luck :)"
Well sweet. I like the sound of that. It's time to be showered with something other than tears over this god forsaken breakup already...lol
2nd Fortune Cookie Say:
"You will always get what you want through your charm and personality."
uhhhhh...hmmmm. hahaha
ok, so today i was reminded why pxxi is good for me. and it's not cuz it gives me a reason to make two long blog posts about my breakeup each day. ;)
in my case, it's cuz i have sent so many pathetic, desperate life-story emails to blondie...and looking back, that's hella embarassing. holy crap. how embarassing. i just wanted to talk him into taking me back. but going back now and reading over the emails, i'm totally cringing...goddam.
anyhoo...hopefully this time away from him will help him start to forget those pathetic emails...problem is, he prolly has not deleted them...oh gawd. oh well. all i know is that i'm not gonna make things even worse by trying to explain the desperation i was feeling while composing those terrible emails. nothing to remind him of them. jeezus. just time for him to forget about that silliness and hopefully start over again...with me. i wanna give him time to forget the hurt, but hopefully he won't find someone else in the meantime. but i'm just committed to not going back into even a friendship with him before enough time has passed for some wounds to start being healed.
i'm just a girl sweet over a boy and wanting him to love me. it's simple. but i made things so complicated. i dunno if we'll make it past all that. maybe we can still be 'friends'...who the fuck knows. i'm gonna do this right from here on tho. that's all i know. hopefully it will pay off with me and blondie. if not, i won't regret that i became more indie and less desperate. i won't regret that i learned some lessons.
gotta get back to work...blog ya lata. i gotta get done with this project so i can watch Relationship Rehab tonite...hope its good.
Playing now:
Lightness -- Death Cab for Cutie
Your Legs Grow -- Nada Surf
We Will Become Silhouettes -- The Postal Service
"You will be showered with good luck :)"
Well sweet. I like the sound of that. It's time to be showered with something other than tears over this god forsaken breakup already...lol
2nd Fortune Cookie Say:
"You will always get what you want through your charm and personality."
uhhhhh...hmmmm. hahaha
ok, so today i was reminded why pxxi is good for me. and it's not cuz it gives me a reason to make two long blog posts about my breakeup each day. ;)
in my case, it's cuz i have sent so many pathetic, desperate life-story emails to blondie...and looking back, that's hella embarassing. holy crap. how embarassing. i just wanted to talk him into taking me back. but going back now and reading over the emails, i'm totally cringing...goddam.
anyhoo...hopefully this time away from him will help him start to forget those pathetic emails...problem is, he prolly has not deleted them...oh gawd. oh well. all i know is that i'm not gonna make things even worse by trying to explain the desperation i was feeling while composing those terrible emails. nothing to remind him of them. jeezus. just time for him to forget about that silliness and hopefully start over again...with me. i wanna give him time to forget the hurt, but hopefully he won't find someone else in the meantime. but i'm just committed to not going back into even a friendship with him before enough time has passed for some wounds to start being healed.
i'm just a girl sweet over a boy and wanting him to love me. it's simple. but i made things so complicated. i dunno if we'll make it past all that. maybe we can still be 'friends'...who the fuck knows. i'm gonna do this right from here on tho. that's all i know. hopefully it will pay off with me and blondie. if not, i won't regret that i became more indie and less desperate. i won't regret that i learned some lessons.
gotta get back to work...blog ya lata. i gotta get done with this project so i can watch Relationship Rehab tonite...hope its good.
Playing now:
Lightness -- Death Cab for Cutie
Your Legs Grow -- Nada Surf
We Will Become Silhouettes -- The Postal Service
posted by Jenn at 11:38:00 AM
5 Comments:
oh gosh...mine were like...blondie, i was so wrong and here is why...when i was 8...yada, yada....you were loved and i am so sorry...yada yada...on and fucking on....holy desperation.
eek!
Hehe I sent some embarrassing messages too... I really really really hope he deleted them. Or else I'm just going to deny. Deny. Deny!
Haha. It wasn't me!
dear god...that's the worst part, z. i was just talking to a friend who might help me get my shit out of canada...and the thought of seeing blondie's face after me having sent all those emails is...ummm...scary. i'll have to talk to blondie only about the weather once pxxi is over and PRAY he has forgotten about those terrible desperate emails...i wish i could deny, pb...i wish i could...hahaha
I never got that chance.
We went from I love you to a goodbye handshake in days. Sort of like a relationship "Shock-and-awe" bombing campaign.
I'm in the advanced stages of pxxilation and I'm barely on day #1
Each day is progress. One must keep reminding one's self.
altdotweb, i know the "shock and awe" bombing campaign all too well. it went from "i can't imagine my life without you" to "i love you, but i'm not in love with you" in just days. [jaw drop]
know this: you can only go up from here. the feelings and thoughts that go running through your head are so raw and yet, so real. it's all normal. keep repeating that to yourself if you have to. (i have an entire collection of post-it notes around my room full of reminders.)
i think the best advice i got early on was to focus on what's next. don't look back (i know, it's hard, and it's inevitable that you will). but if you can control it, just think forward. think about your plans for the weekend. if that's too much to handle now, think about what you're going to have for dinner tonight. if that's too much, think about what you're going to do for the next 10 minutes--even if it's refolding all your laundry. just keep moving forward, and i promise that things will get better.
by the way, i'm blog-stupid sometimes and accidentally deleted. whoops.
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