1/12/2006

So Up & Down I'm Getting Queasy

so i debated about whether to blog about the latest developments...

1: barbados is cancelled...blondie is happy about that...negotiations are sketchy (important)
2: this all means that blondie "may" quit and move back to the states. meaning...
3: i may not need colo, because i will beg/pay him to bring all my stuff back with him

Ok...with all of this happening, i'm just not sure how pxxi is going to work out for me right now.

what is happening right now is such a big deal in the big scheme of things for me...i have not talked to blondie about moving my shit back with his, but i will need to if he decides to quit.

he may decide to continue working on contract negotiations from another company there that is talking to him...but i don't know. and it is not really something i can talk really in depth to him about since i'm not his anymore...

but it's important because i want my shit!

...and of course, cuz i would like to get back with him at some point. i miss him. i miss his crazy sense of humor...was fun to share that with all of you a few posts ago...i miss working with him - the kid is brilliant...and he mentioned last nite that he has no reason to ever work for someone again...the indie bug bit him.

all i can say is that once he decides on what he's going to do about either staying there in canada working or come back to the states, then all should be go for pxxi...but i just dont see how i can do it now.

comments?

Playing now:
i want to be the boy - the white stripes
time turned fragile -- motion city soundtrack
he war -- cat power

12 Comments:

Blogger Caro said...

yes, you MUST blog. i need a pxxi cheerleader! :-)
regardless, i'm rooting for YOU. for you being strong, for you knowing what's best and for you following your heart. don't forget everything you've learned because it's only a beginning. there's still lots to know and ponder and dwell on and complicate. fun, huh?

1/12/2006 06:31:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

robert: yes, i think pxxi is just on hold...certainly no plans for blondie and i to get back together...just wanna ensure i get my shit.

caro: yeah, i'll def keep up blogging...might slow down cuz of work, but that's a good thing overall. and i kinda wanted to say that this has nothing at all to do with my heart...blondie is finally nice to me again lately, but there is nothing AT ALL indicating that we're going to resume a relationship. now its just a matter of getting my shit without paying enough to buy a whole apartment full of stuff again.

sigh...

but at least no tears...heart is feeling stronger...

keep at it caro...i'll totally be your cheerleader...you're completely the shizzle!

1/12/2006 07:38:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

by the way jenn? i'm going away for the weekend in a couple of weeks.

1/12/2006 10:12:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

hey sass: thanks for the heads up...i am totally not sure what's going to happen with the whole colo situation. i'll try to get some info over the next few days. i have someone in guelph who might be able to help me find a runner...but until i know what's going on with blondie i just have to sit on things.

i will let you know asap.

so are you going anywhere fun?

1/13/2006 06:42:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

if you're wondering if i'm going exactly where we were discussing the other day?

yes, yes i am.

1/13/2006 09:51:00 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Sass!! SaWeeet! That is sooo cool! Yay! Yay! Yay! Get your Sass on in the US!!

do keep me informed of the latest!

1/13/2006 10:37:00 AM  
Blogger PinkBunny said...

Jenn, I think it's OK that PXXI be put on hold for a while. For me, it made me strong enough to deal with the ex without begging for him to take me back. I learned dignity! And, I'm managing to keep my clarity about WHY it wouldn't work if I went back to him, so even if he wanted to, I'd be able to resist.

You're going to be just fine. We can always fall back on PXXI again if things don't work. But we won't really have to start at the beginning (emotionally) because we've already learned something the first time.

So... good luck! Hope everything works out.

1/13/2006 01:48:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

hiya pb!
i think i had the same experience with pxxi giving me dignity. i can't tell you how many times i wanted to tell blondie how much i really want to be back together with him...but haven't since i started pxxi cuz i'm sick of embarrasing myself in doing that...so yeah...dignity. yes.

and clarity. yes.

AND yes...we'd never have to start over again from the beginning emotionally again, would we? i'm definitely a changed person since starting pxxi.

will have to blog about that soon...it's changed a lot for me.

anyhoo...so how are you? are you ok?

1/13/2006 02:15:00 PM  
Blogger PinkBunny said...

Me? Life is confusing... but overall it's all good. The ex is being nice, which is the reason for the confusion. It was somehow easier when he hated me.

But I'm dealing! Focusing on school work, which has to be done by mid-Feb!

1/13/2006 02:49:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

oh gosh...i hear ya about it being easier when the ex is hating...at least you KNOW where you stand! it hurts, but in a way it is easier...sigh

but cool....keep up with the focus...it's all about you now.

yesterday caro said "they gave us
permission to be selfish and not think of them the minute we parted." i think that is a hella profound statement...so true, and just changes the whole way we look at life if we let it. so i just wanted to share that with you...be selfish...stay focused...keep your dignity. i know the confusion will end, and you will be happier and stronger than ever...

i gotta say it...

GO PB!! ;)

1/13/2006 03:00:00 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

amen. be selfish.
but damn him for beating me to the punch.

(hahaha, i kid. no games left in me.)

wysiwyg. and i'm damn proud of that.

xoxo!

1/13/2006 04:58:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

caro: wysiwyg...never thot of that apart from software...but that's 'right awesome'. you should be proud of it. Always...

AND YEAH...GODDAM THEM ALL FOR BEATING US TO THE PUNCH...FUCKING EXES!!

we will survive!!

1/13/2006 05:13:00 PM  

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