Need Another PXXI Lesson

geezus, its been over a year, and i somehow still broke one of the PXXI rules. bleh. yesterday i IMed blondie just to say hey. all was good, then i ended up asking about work. thats when i blew it ended up sounding like a jerk cuz i asked him to shoot over any overflow work to me. i'm sure he thought i was only contacting him for that. i wasn't. but i proceeded to stumble over my words and ended up looking like a huge arse. i'm quite sure i'm blocked now. whatever. i guess i should be. i don't really want to get back together with him, i just want to be friends. i don't think that is possible from his standpoint. so...PXXI is right again. why is it so fucking hard to just make things

update - he pinged me back and said he didn't want to keep in touch. at least now i know.

its best that way. maybe now i can rid myself from that speck of hope that i always carried with me.

its like we never knew each other at all now...

Connections

(past) - the last 4 digits of my new iPhone number are the month/day blondie was born. how random and terrible is that??

(continuous) - i haven't blogged in forever, yet i'm still making a steady (albeit slow) stream of connections from this blog.

(earth) - i worry that i'm leaving only a carbon footprint and this shite blog after me.

(--) - no one is a witness to my life.

(acceptance) - why is no one ever good enough?

(committment) - i haven't been to a wedding for 3 years. the last one i attended was with blondie. i am going to a wedding this weekend. my 2 very good friends are getting married saturday. i don't know how i will keep from getting physically ill.

(nerd) - i've fallen in love with NPR (especially Ira Glass - This American Life). this means i truly need to get a life :(

(future) - moving into a brand new condo next week. this should be awesome to the extreme since i won't have roommates. all of the units in this condo have sold. clearly the real estate market is not tanked in this state yet.

(pain) - i miss the Atlantic ocean bad.
i hate that my heart is still broken.