7/22/2008

Breakup Spinout

I wonder how long it takes to quit mentally spinning out over a breakup that was only short term to begin with. I can't belive I'm still tripping over this breakup. Its only been 2 days, but I hate it.

He's pretty much dead to me. I deleted all of our emails and text messages. I'm not going to make myself even crazier by going over each word we've written to each other. I've already been though that with Blondie, and it makes for a messed up head, lemme tell ya.

I guess I'm so sad because I wanted to spend more than 3 weeks with the guy...lol. Honestly. 3 months would have been great. And the thing is, I'm not clingy or possessive. I'm model tall and have a good body and am often called beautiful. I am smart, and witty and live in a great place - I only bring these things out to give you some background on me. Basically, for me, getting guys is hella easy. The hard part is keeping them after a few weeks together with them. I'm not sure what goes wrong. This time, I'm fucking sad about not being able to get to know this guy better. The worse part is that the breakup happened over a 3 day period through email and he refused to just tell me he wanted to end it on the phone or face to face. I guess the fact that I allow myself to go through such bullshit is 1 of the reasons I do go throught bullshit like this. But fuck...he just seemed so much better than the rest. I'm tripping over how this went down.

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7/21/2008

Fortune Cookie Say...

I guess it's an old habit to go out and order Chinese or Thai food when I'm feeling down. Anyhoo, today's fortune cookie tells me:
"Others appreciate you more than you think."
Really? Excellent!

Breakup Expert

Yeah, i'm an expert at getting guys to break up with me. geezus. I was with a really cool guy for about 3 weeks this time, and I pulled the breakup line with him. Something like, 'I really like you a lot, but I can tell you're not over your ex and not ready for something serious...what do you think if we just don't sleep together anymore till we see where things go'. Well, he was all over that - like that was his way out of a relationship which I have to admit, just spun into pseudo-seriousness waaaay too fast. But I thought this was a good way of slowing things down. No, this was a perfect way to have dude end all contact with me 'for a couple of weeks'. I call bullshit on that line...whatever.

Ok. I can hear you now thinking that this whole relationship clearly just started out wrong. I know. I made these 3 mistakes entering into this relationship:

1. I slept with him within 10 days of meeting him
2. I suggested it
3. I somehow thought he liked me for more than sex, cuz I liked him and thought he was pretty kickass.

This is not the first time I've done this. Actually, I pretty much am the breakup expert cuz when I look back on the past 6 months, I've had 5 breakups like this. Yes, 5. That's pretty much an average of a 3 week relationship to 2 weeks to find a new guy. Awesome.